6 Things Singles Need to Know about Marriage, Pt. 1

Tami Myer is my friend and fellow writer who blogs about godly marriage and what that looks like. I asked her if she could share a biblical perspective on marriage for singles that we could apply to our walk now, and she graciously said yes.

Whether you’re a teen, young adult, or adult who’s not yet married, it’s my hope that Tami’s two-part series will bless you as much as it has me.

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Why should singles care about the topic of marriage?

If marriage is not on your radar or even on your wish list, you may think that the subject is not relevant for you right now. But regardless of your marital status, you will benefit from understanding the divine design for marriage. [i]

Here are six important things to know about marriage.

#1. Marriage is a profound revealer of spiritual truths.

When we look at the universe, we know that there is a God. And when we look at marriage, we learn who this God is. The created world reveals the existence of God, but marriage reveals the nature and character of God. We learn that He is a God of relationship and that He is loyal and loving.

In the Scriptures, God makes a stunning claim:

For your Creator will be your husband. (Isaiah 54:5 NLT)

God will be our husband? What does that mean? As we study biblical marriage, we learn that a man is to be the protector and the provider for his wife. The husband is responsible for the well-being of the woman. He lays down his interests in order to love her well. His very life is to be a covering of protection over his bride. He honors, nurtures, and cherishes her.

Amazingly, God is eager to be this kind of “husband” to everyone who enters into a covenant relationship with Him.

I will take you to be My wife forever. I will take you to be My wife in righteousness, justice, love, and compassion. (Hosea 2:19 HSCB)

As a type of “wife,” we accept God and welcome Him. We take His name as our name. “I am His” becomes our identity. We become covenant partners with Him, and we allow Him to carry the weight of responsibility. We give up being spiritually single. We end our other spiritual love affairs (pursuing pleasure, prestige, or possessions), and we devote ourselves to Him. Instead of being spiritually independent (“I know what is good for me”), we depend on His guidance and wisdom.

We live to know Him and to make His name great. We trust His care, knowing that His goal is our radiance. [ii] Our thriving is His glory.

We abide in Him, and He abides in us. We delight in Him, marveling that He delights in us.

As a groom rejoices over his bride, so your God will rejoice over you.
(Isaiah 62:5 HCSB)

#2. You can have a great impact on others in the area of marriage.

As you interact with people every day, you can be a powerful influence. You don’t have to be married to know what God teaches about marriage. Understanding the Scriptures will enable you to share helpful truth with others.

It has been said that wisdom is seeing things from God’s perspective. Whether married or not, we all need wisdom in this area because the marriages around us affect our lives. Marriages shape our society and culture.

#3. You may have heard that sexual purity is a gift to your future spouse, and that is certainly true. But purity is also a valuable gift to yourself.

You are far more than physical instincts and chemicals. You are more than an animal, which lacks moral strength or character. You have inherent honor, for you are a man or a woman created in the image of God Himself. Women have the God-given glory of being women. Men have the God-given glory of being men.

Your sexuality is deeply linked to your spirit. If you are abused sexually, there is a deep wounding in your spirit. If you give your body away sexually, your spirit is dishonored and demeaned. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul wrote, “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18 NLT)

Perhaps you don’t know how much you are worth. Perhaps you don’t know that you are a person of high value. God says that you are a treasure. You are priceless!

Your body and spirit are worth far more than cheap words and empty promises. You are worth nothing less than someone’s solemn vow before God and witnesses to honor you “til death do you part.” Guard yourself against anyone who says you are worth less than a lifetime commitment.

Sexual purity isn’t just physical. It is also mental. Stay away from porn. It will destroy you. We live in a pornographic society, so it takes strength to fight back, but it is well worth the effort. Porn promises pleasure, but then it sabotages even the ability to enjoy pleasure. It is highly addictive, encourages abusive behavior, creates dissatisfaction, destroys empathy, and causes users to view people as objects.

Pursue sexual purity in your behavior and in your thinking. You will reap great rewards from this, both now and later, whether single or married. Purity will free you to be healthy physically, spiritually, and in your relationships with other people.

Whatever may be in your past, you can embrace purity now because God loves to give fresh starts and clean slates.

~ Tami Myer

To be continued… Be sure to come back next week for the second part of: 6 Things Singles Need to Know about Marriage.

Notes

[i] One of the best books on marriage was originally written for singles. The Meaning of Marriage is based on a series of sermons which pastor Timothy Keller preached at his church in New York City, where his congregation is predominantly single.

[ii] Ephesians 5:27, NIV

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Don’t Throw Paint at a Heart Problem

I feel a little guilty. The other day, I set a beautiful piece of furniture out by the road for trash pickup. However, before the garbage crew arrived, some unlucky person thought it was a steal and snatched it.

What’s wrong with that? Let me back up the story.

When I first purchased the hutch, it was ordinary and old, but with a friend’s help, I transformed it into a Pinterest-worthy piece.

But there was one problem. While I thought it would look perfect in my home, a bug had already made it his home.

I first suspected something was wrong when I moved the hutch from my parent’s garage to my new house. Initially, I dismissed the sawdust inside one of the drawers as a side effect of moving. Someone probably knocked the wood during the haul.

Then, the other week, a fresh mound of sawdust appeared on the carpet, and my skin crawled. I enlisted my family to move it curbside.

I thought about setting out a sign to warn people not to pick it up. But what would I say? “Warning: Bug Living in Furniture”? That just sounded weird.

Besides, people might not believe me. From the outside, the hutch looked perfect.

But pretty is only paint deep. Burrowing inside is something that will ultimately destroy it.

A Heart Problem

That bug is a little like sin. People tend to focus on the external. We have only to glance at a magazine or newspaper advertisement to be reminded that society obsesses over appearance.

On the other hand, God cares about the heart.

  • Proverbs 31:30 – “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (NKJV).
  • I Samuel 16:7 – “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (NKJV).

On our own, we can add a few layers of paint, but we can’t solve the root of the problem. Only God can. His work transforms from the inside out, making us brand new.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)

Becoming God’s child is a lot easier than figuring out how to treat an infested piece of furniture. All we have to do is confess that we can’t fix our sin problem on our own and instead trust that Jesus took care of it once and for all when he died on a cross and rose again, victorious over sin and death.

For Reflection

Looking back, I should have somehow warned people not to pick up the hutch. More importantly, though, I need to be sharing with others the good news that Jesus loves them and can give them a clean heart and a fresh start.

  • Has God placed people in your life who need to hear the gospel? What’s holding you back from witnessing to them and warning them about the destructive nature of sin?
  • Is there sin in your own life you need to confess so that it doesn’t hinder your relationship with God?
  • Have you been focusing too much on outward appearances and circumstances? Spend time in God’s Word to learn what He values (I Peter 3:3-4).

Please leave your thoughts in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

~ Kristen

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